Note: Kelsang Chokyi is the RT at KMC San Diego, who basically excommunicated me after I wrote the NKT about her allowing anti-Shugdens to teach; the NKT office GSD/DSD/ have never replied for two years on anything, despite repeated requests. That would be strange, for a Shugden school not to reply to any of this, assuming the upper management were all with Shugden.
Dear Gen Rigpa, Gen Jampa, Ed council reps, et al., 9-16-2013
Having been ousted, along with my daughter, from our Kadampa Center of several years (VBC, San Diego), I am not sure what to do at this point, or where we belong. However, I am quite sure that I appreciate pure Buddhadharma and I do consider Dorje Shugden to protect pure Dharma and Geshe Kelsang to manifest pure Dharma. I do not consider that my daughter and I have been treated fairly by Kelsang Chokyi, and I cannot accept that I must lie in order to be ‘harmonious’ at VBC. For this reason I am registering another formal complaint against Kelsang Chokyi.
I think it is kind of obvious that Kelsang Chokyi wanted us to leave around the time I started writing her bosses last October; she had already yelled at me(and I mean that verb literally) on 2 or 3 occasions, and had refused to listen to anything I said regarding impure dharmas for over a year. Shortly after we were brave enough to come back (end of January) to puja, I got a call from Chokyi telling me that my child, who had been coming weekly to puja for 3 and ½ years, is suddenly too loud to have in video link (Feb 13th). VBC and I went back and forth on this, with the upshot being that they would at first appear to let us back, and then withdraw their offer as soon as it looked like we might come in. I am so sorry that Kristen, my daughter, who really loves the people at our temple, is completely cut off from them; obviously I should not have to pretend that the kids’ class teacher did not approach me about leaving the Center just before she got put into her first teaching assignment. I understand that the teaching standards are supposed to be ‘anyone with a good heart can teach,’ which is probably not what Geshe-la meant at all. His words are probably being taken out of context; at any rate how is it that a qualified teacher such as Atisha isn’t good enough for the place but people who try to convert others to anything but Geshe Kelsang are allowed to teach so quickly? If they really change their minds that quickly, then how would I know if they might not change their minds again? It isn’t reasonable or fair to do this to people; the state of Kadam dharma went from perfect to abysmal in 6 months time.
So, obviously, I can’t go to the VBC with my daughter being treated so horribly by the RT; I can’t go somewhere where I am expected to lie, and I failed entirely to drink the Dalai Lama cool-aide this life (om mani padme hung— may all beings experience pure dharmas). I also can’t go to puja if my child can’t go, because, in addition to my daughter being treated horribly and my being asked to pretend that I am not surrounded by anti-Shugden people, I also just frankly can’t always afford a babysitter; babysitters these days usually make at least minimum wage (8 dollars an hour in CA). I have no car, so this adds time to how long it takes me to get back and forth; so, I can’t afford it and I also like to bring my daughter who likes to come and has not historically presented a problem.
Our being excluded from coming to puja as a family has resulted our complete absence from VBC since February 2013; that is over 7 months. I am not sure what is going on over there, but I find it odd that we have been thrown out from practicing as a family; we can go to a kids’ class taught by someone who talked up the Dalai Lama and down Geshe Kelsang; I realize that it’s been nearly 2 years since that happened; however, the kids’ class was disbanded, re-started for a year as only a monthly class rather than a weekly class, and is now still only 2 times a month. Kelsang Chokyi ignored everything I said for the first year, which means that these anti-Shugden, pro-Dalai lama people have had longer to entrench; at any rate, just because a mistake has happened for such a long time with the teachers or teaching standards does not mean that it would need to continue.
Obviously, due to not being allowed to practice at VBC for so long as a family, my daughter and I do not appear to other members of the Sangha to have anything to do with VBC or the NKT. Chokyi has also accused me of such heinous acts (Sangha splitting and divisive/harsh speech) that people seem very afraid to speak to me; it is too many people for too long that have an excuse EVERY time I call, text, email, or walk in the room (over a year of all these Buddhists fleeing the room, having made up illnesses, being unable to hear me EVERY time I call/come in etc ). It seems odd, that we would be thrown out from our normal practice as a family, allowed only to go to the antithesis of dharma kids’ class (antithesis because it is directed at the demise of our Protector practice, as the teacher is a Dalai Lama aficonado), which I will not go to. Then, I whose daughter is no longer welcome, can now pay a babysitter I can’t afford in order to be at puja? Frankly, I have to continue practicing with my daughter because I can’t abandon beings like that. You have no idea how SAD my daughter is about not being able to go to VBC or having any discernible contact with our Sangha.
Not only are we completely cut off from any Sangha that may have survived the attack on Kadam dharma that VBC has experienced, but also we have no contact with anyone who can help us go to Portugal. I emailed asking for help from my old pujamates, which is like 4 or 5 people, and got only one response from someone who honestly didn’t have money. So obviously I would need help from others, but I can’t effectively ask for help if I am being maligned; and it would probably be apparent that since we aren’t there, it’s not like we can convince the VBC community to help us; at any rate I am not sure how they would since I think the scholarship accounts have been wiped out for a couple of years. (I assume so, since they can’t allow my ½ price attendance at daycourses or anything else without someone offering to sponsor me).
My daughter and I were both obviously interested in Geshe Kelsang’s teachings and practices, but right now, we’ve been thrown out, so we are now lost from any in-person Geshe Kelsang transmissions? He is very old, obviously; so I can see that we are not welcome by VBC, that my daughter is not allowed near puja; we could never have gone to Portugal without help, but we have been cut off from all contact with anyone who might have helped us. We cannot even apply for help from our Sangha to get a Geshe Kelsang transmission etc., yet people who don’t seem to like Shugden are allowed to teach at VBC. Obviously, these people are confused and think Geshe Kelsang is a demon and his Dharma Protector a hungry ghost, but maybe that is why we are being ousted; obviously the (Shugden) CADC this year had some issues in the kids’ room; not only were my daughter and I chased out of there for complaining about allowing kids’ to play with ballons and bubbles during a teaching, but also the sound did not work one single time without someone coming to repair it in the kids’ room. So, my kid, who is quiet at our VBC video link can’t come, because she might get exposed to Dorje Shugden, but at the CADC Shugden empowerment we will allow for a circus in the kids room in order to disrupt the teaching? Obviously there are people that don’t want this transmission for our children; I understand that, but why can we not protect our own teachings by having people in charge of things that actually want to further our practices and doctrines?
So I am registering another complaint against Kelsang Chokyi, for dividing the Sangha by unfairly removing at least 2 blameless Shugden practioners, alienating people who speak in favor of pure Geshe Kelsang transmissions, and removing low-income long-term practioners from the scene just before Geshe Kelsang’s last public teaching in Portugal, thereby making it impossible for them to appear a part of the Sangha when appealing for help to go to the last of Geshe Kelsang’s festivals. Furthermore, I would like to register a complaint that Kelsang Chokyi requires lying in order to remain in her Sangha; she will not tolerate the truth concerning my being approached by anti-Shugden/Dalai Lama people to leave VBC who now teach; Chokyi refers to those of us that do not agree with her every edict as disharmonious; I am harmonious with Dorje Shugden and the other Buddhas; if this causes discord with a community going to refuge to an impure teacher (the Dalai Lama) then I would say the problem is more from their side than ours.
May all karmas be purified. Thank you for your time.