August 15, 2014
On Clarification of Heart Commitment and other Points
Dear Ven. Geshe-la, Gen-la Khyenrab, Gen Rigpa, Gen Jampa, and Gen Tonglam,
I felt it might be helpful to make a few clarifications regarding recent emails. First, please understand, I have never received any word from Manjushri Center, including Steve Cowing, Roy Tyson, Gen-la Dekyong or Gen-la Kunsang. As stated before my writing is inspired by a connection to Dorje Shugden. I generally wouldn’t say so, but it is the only way I have any idea what to write you. I feel I need to explain concerning the heart commitment that I took with Gen Jampa, that I understand that the Heart Commitment to Dorje Shugden entails that I will study the Kadampa Dharma, teach that (if I teach, though I don’t happen to teach) not mix traditions, and also do something to help uphold these tenants or do something that furthers this dharma. When I took it, I offered to Dorje Shugden that I would do whatever he liked, as long as he would let me know what that was. I understand that as the Buddha, he could change his mind that I be in his school or something, especially since I have heard that he may become a Dharma Protector for everyone in the world. That is why I keep saying should I go to the Kagyupas and ask them to have him as a Protector? I have also got the issue of having to keep the bodhisattva vow; in order to study Kadam Dharma at all, we need to start off with pure Dharma. We don’t have pure Dharma readily available in the NKT right now, as a result of many of the GSD’s policy changes, the entertainment classes, the teaching standards, and the allowance of the Dalai lama people to do whatever they want in this school. That they lie and say they don’t do this, etc., is part of what I find so very tiresome, and also what is distressing to me, is that our lives are passing, and they are teaching nothing resembling our dharma, but taking the positions of people who would. This is deceptive, this is not the heart commitment, and this will destroy the school if we do nothing about it.
Furthermore, in the Kagyu School, I do know they study lojong, Mahamuda and the Kadam Lamrim, though the transmission is not exactly the same. Also, it is safer from the Dalai Lama people there. I do not wish to leave Dorje Shugden, so I would rather stay in the NKT, but if there is no way to receive teachings before I die here, then I think the best thing is to go to enlightenment, and since Dorje Shugden is supposed to be the best Protector for beings of our time, I thought perhaps it is simply that he is about to start appearing in other lineages or something; I do not know, because no one in your school will communicate with me. I have never received EVER any confirmation of which emails were received by whom, even back when we were only 6 months into it, and I had requested from Roy Tyson and Steve Cowing that they tell me which documents they had received. (At that point it was about 18 or so documents over 6 months). Now I have forwarded a lot of emails to help in case there is an investigation so we have numerous emails. No one says anything, and I have never received a direct way to email anyone except for Gen Jampa, who emailed me once or twice from a gmail account (back in early 2013) to tell me to try to go and email Roy and Steve on the ed. Council.
I requested several times to Roy Tyson and Steve Cowing, confirmation of email receipts from the Ed. and financial council. When I received nothing from them, no further word from Gen Jampa, no response from Gen Rigpa, complete ostracism from the Sangha, and no response from Ven. Geshe-la, then I thought perhaps Ven. Geshe-la was (honestly) trying to tell me I do not belong here. Maybe the karma will never be right? (I do not like lies, and I often do not like Dalai Lama people’s actions as a corollary to not liking liars).
I feel this not responding is perhaps that someone is doing something very inappropriate with the emails or you want me to leave; I do not know.